mY hEarT spE@ks

WHY?

2008-12-17T17:06:00.002+08:00

its 5:06 pm now..yea..but time seems meaningless to me now because im lost in time..lost in my life....why?...i cant get control over my life and im in deep shit...done so many stupid things recently...but nothing seems to cover the pain in my heart..i keep telling myself i will get better in time...but why i haven't?I thought I was ok.but when you told me that day...my heart goes shattering again..why?why I have to live every single day with you on my mind?not only you but your the other half...which came out to be add salt to the wound...sigh...

i don't know what should i do...i hope to see a happy post in my blog...

2008 is going to end and im still like this...i hope all this will end soon either on 31st dec 2008

what do you do when the only person who can stop you from crying is the only person who made u cry?

2008-12-12T18:05:00.002+08:00

hey...yea.u all...ans my title...give me somethin bout what i hve to do....thx guys

FOr yoU~~

2008-12-01T01:42:00.002+08:00

sigh..another second i was going to be cruel to you..but now im being sad over you..do you know what you do will affect ppl around you?baby,...u noe how to tel ppl not to get drunk if unhappy but u go drunk..dun be stupid...u did tel me last time right?,,,..i noe ur reluctant to tell me already because we have a gap now...but u can always tell ur close frens...we are still frens..i do care of you...recently i know your unhappy...but i cant do anything because you wouldnt want to tell me...im worried of you..hopefuly u will be happy back...when i knew what happen to you..i couldnt help with feeling sad for you...wanna drink then i drink with u lor sor lui!!...do really take care of yourself yea...big big girl as u told me before right...=)..i wanna see your day full of smile again...then i will feel happier knowing that she's always alright when i think of her=)..right baby?come and talk to me if you really couldn't help it...=)....I just hope that you are going to be happy soon..please...=)...take care yea...

no title

2008-11-30T22:59:00.002+08:00

hmm...i was trying to blog a few days ago..alot in mind..but ntg to write..=s...yea..but..i notice i changed recently..become a person who likes to be alone..i wonder why...but i actually know why and i hope things get better in time...time passes by and 2009 is coming..this year is awfully a bad year for me..i hope next year would be a better one=)..sigh~....people come and leave in your life...but some would come and leave a big hole in your heart with causing your life a mess..im staring the pc screen for a long time because there is too much things in my heart to write..well...I should be happy that i have great frens bside me..but all the things happen recently makes me trauma..I wouldnt wanna be close to anyone anymore...If i were to be..ill step back and wouldnt contact that someone if i need to..i came to believe that in this world..everyone is on their own..no matter how much a person say she loves u..ur stil on your own..words uttered "ill always be by your side" is something that i would say bullshit for me now..because at the end of the day eventually that thing that will happen is "ill be supporting u from afar"...hahaha...im wondering did i laugh sarcastically or did i really laugh..spend most of the time of this year going on a "periodic"cycle if u read some of my post...I shouldn't have appear in your life..I shouldn't have gone to know you...but whats the point saying all this when damage had been done severely..stupid me for falling for you...but i know tougher times will come in future as this life is very real..."humans are born wit selfishness and only react to something if its upon their interest"...this is very true..no matter who you are to me ill still say this to you....you mayb unintentional but you still are..for all this months this blog had been accompany me throughout my bad times...for what have happen will stay memories in here unless this blog is deleted...others memories of you i have deleted....and i even wish my brain got a recycle bin,...you would never know how much impact you done to me...don't do this to others...well..i hope you find the one u love very much and he loves you equally as well=)...your always the girl that makes me smile...=)...take care everyone.....

ITS OVER~~

2008-11-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

hey peeps...yea you..thx for following my blog all these times...such emo blog but u still continue reading...a thing struck me a few days ago....i think i have lost a good fren due to this blog...should i close down this blog then?hmmm....if you are reading this i just wanna say a thing or two about what happen..."yea i know im stupid tat time..but i couldnt control myself...so words i utter might be hurtful,i thought it had pass..so i assume it as ntg..but..hmm..yea...its my bad..im sorry..din expect u will angry wit me for these long"..if you think your are the one whom im apologizing with and u accept my apology..come and say hi to me yea=)....so anyway "THING" are coming to an end finally after 7 months...it wasnt what i want in the first place but u need to accept it as it comes..part of life is the phrase i always use to comfort myself...=)..yes i do feel unhappy about it..reluctant to let it go...but..dun force the situation too much i told myself..it wil be better for both parties...i do feel lonely..but u cant control other ppl life right...so i guess just make the best out of ur life..I was so scare that this day would come..but when it eventually came..i take it step by step to accept it..I guess I would be alright but nevertheless I still think of you when im alone...again..all of these are part of life and makes u stronger as you grow older...hmm..thinking of my cousin now..shes in china enjoying ler..lets hope she bring me some souvenir..kekekke=p..whoops...

anyway..im glad that i DID love you...=)...take care of urself yea...

the shocking truth

2008-11-15T02:43:00.002+08:00

hey...its 245 in the morning..staying awake cause i need to fetch a fren from CM cause she is doing shooting there now..waiting for her call now..wasnt in the mood at first..feel sleepy but cant sleep..so i came online..chit chat wit a few of my frens...and suddenly the truth out of this world shock me...but i wasnt feeling the deep cut in my heart..maybe i was too numb already..but nevertheless i never expect all these things can come out from your mouth...maybe it was rumour..but rumours cant be spread if there is nothing to start with...just like a fire...yea..i thought all these things only came out in the drama...but I never expect it at all..what a reality of this world..i've learn my lesson..its a bit too late now to mend back my life..but yea..its better late then never..all this while I thought u have a heart for me(IF THOSE THINGS WERE TRUE)..but i forgot to see what heart you have for me..maybe its because im too stupid...yea i noe u guys advice me over and over..but i still overlooked all those stuff..nvm..i get my own lesson d..u all can relax urself and see me come back..=)...FOR THOSE OF YOU OUT THERE WHO ARE READING THIS..DONT TAKE ME FOR GRANTED FOR WHAT I HAVE TREAT YOU WITH MY SINCERITY...YOU'LL PAY HEAVILY FOR IT...I'LL MAKE SURE I'LL CURSE YOU TO HELL FOR PLAYIN WIT MY SINCERITY AND WISH YOU DIE IMMEDIATELY..

note:quote in my last post cant be used...although its seems meaningfull but it wasnt really meaningful for me anymore..coz its not worth it actually.

(AGAIN..IF THOSE RUMOURS WERE TRUE)..tq=)

its been since awhile~~

2008-11-06T01:32:00.003+08:00

hey guys..yea..its been since awhile i blogged...yea..its good you dun see me blog coz if i blog.im blogging emofied stuff....basically im in a mess of my life now...what the fuck im doing?!!...recently a fren told me im like a PERIOD..u noe gal having their monthly PERIOD?yea he say im like tat..reason being its im in a cycle of emotion..cycle that never stop...basically the cycle is "happy back...and then get hurt...after that get even hurt..climax is wasting ur time of ur life getting recover and getting back happy again and then got hurt..gets even hurt..and fucking wasting ur life again to recover urself"..when i think back its quite true...kept telling myself to focus on ur future....keep telling myself not to bother so much...u noe..the power of love is so big that i keep falling back...im stil in the old hole...rusty old hole...im so stupid to keep falling back....yea u say ur heartbreaker...but u cant change anything coz i have fallen for a heartbreaker..and thats only for me to blame..stupidity strucks in me...y do i have to care so much when ur not caring?i duno..u ask me at gun point also i wouldnt noe the ans..."recently an incident happen in coll,...thinking back no wonder that guy wants the girl follow him so much,love really hurts when its on the declining side...kept telling myself its time to wake up..i thought i woke up?but no..ur only in ur dream ryan!!!wake up from ur dream!u still got a long way to go in ur life ryan!i hope i can go to a place where no one knew me and start everything all over again..places here are too much memories to be with...regardless of sad or happiness..i no longer wanna endure all this...

"Do not get sad over losing someone, because you only lost a person who don't love you at all while she loses someone that love her very much, you still win,got nothing to lose"

p/s:powerful quote, but you noe what..its easier to say then to be done...especially involving feelings cause we are only human..

sleepless nights~~

2008-09-29T05:37:00.003+08:00

hey guys, yeah u may see im crazy posting this blog on 5 something in the morning where I should be sleeping on my bed...well..what can I say..I couldnt sleep...having sleepless nights everyday worsen my headache..at times I wil make myself very busy on daylight so I will be very tired at night and I can sleep till next morning..but eventually I will still wake up in the middle of the night and thinking how am I gonna let this all go....I was watching tv just now as I couldnt sleep..I pick up a sentence from the drama series "CSI"..apparently the girl told this guy "I am mad at myself..mad at myself for falling for you and now having to figure out to get back out from all of this"..it struck me in the mind...but for me..it wasnt the same case as they are couple in the show and Im all alone having to fight this out..I thought i would get "better in time" like what the song said but I haven't move on from the old wound...i noe that that "ku harus meninggalkanmu,ku harus melupakanmu" but my mind still thinks of how happy I am when I was with you..what I have now is pictures of us smiling and I knew it wouldnt be the same again if we were to take pics again..I use to think that "baby its you when i look up in the skies and I see you"..as time goes by "everything reminds me of you"...Whats left now is just "a song without a soul" as I have changed..I notice myself change and I feel disappointed with myself..but I couldnt help it "Im no longer the man I was,like a bird without its wing and a fire without a flame"..I know I shouldn't look back anymore but it was sweet thinking back all the "kenangan terindah" from you and "kan kujadikan kau kenangan" and it will be "yang terukir abadi" in my heart ....I hope I eventually move on.....

"Never cry in love,as the one who dont love you doesnt deserve your tears and the one who love you would never wanna see you cry" quote from ting ting's pm

im sorry mom

2008-09-15T02:13:00.003+08:00

its 2 13 midnite and its less then 12 hours away from my finals..i should be sleeping..but im not...i wasnt studying at all...i couldnt study..im pretty fucked up right now...yea to some of you guys im a loser...if u think i am so let me be..im so not prepare for this sem exam..its not that i don't care...its just not the right time for all this to happen..well i dun blame the time..but i just couldnt handle all this...classmates if you all reading this..don't be surprise i fail all the subs...mom im sorry i too...i just don't know what to do...i have headache recently..bad headache...there are times where i just totally have to sleep because of this..how I wish i can sleep forever and never wake up...i noe i have to get up....i wish i could pull thru either..but this process its taking too long for me...i don't wanna waste my 2nd sem....I must wake up b4 it starts...the longer it take..the longer i suffer..sometimes there are just things i dun wanna let go....but as i hold on...i suffer more and more...some of you might say its not worth....to me its my effort..its not about the "worth"..maybe some of you will say also that if its yours then eventually it will be yours...well...i would say..talking is easy...i wanna let it be also..but my feelings is undeniable..i tried to keep myself occupied..but im seeing that nobody seems to talked to me or find me...i don't know why...maybe im too focussed on something..and when i lost it...i lost everything....you maybe seeing me repeating my 2nd year course for im such a failure that let emotions controls all over me.....mom im sorry....i shouldnt have let it.....I hope i see the new light again..help me get through right guys=).....I noe there is one person that helps me alot....thx cousin...*huggies*...

~falling deep down~

2008-09-11T02:58:00.004+08:00

its 3 in the morning..i couldnt sleep and i couldnt study...i don't know where to express my feelings...it seems like everyone i talked to couldnt help me much...i wasnt the real me recently...i wish i was the happy me last time..there are times where i wanna sleep and don't wanna wake up anymore...there are times i felt that life is enough and it should end right here right now..I know you readers would say ending everything its not a solution..but talking is so easy...be in my condition...step into my shoes...you might say its juz a small pile of your life....Ill say its a big hole in my life which I step into..I really hope I can get through my life..Since the day I first created this blog I was never happy..It wasnt what I want in my life..I tried very hard to get back to the right track..but I am going further from where I should be...I thought I was strong enough to get through all this...but Im never this weak in my life..You might say time is all you need...Ill tell you I'm running out of time..its not that i wanted all this thing to distract my life..You can say its the way how you look at it...Ill tell you no matter how hard I try to look at it..its the same to me..I tried everything you guys ask me to do..I took every advice...but i couldnt get it through..Im stuck in this deep black hole..I couldnt study...my emotions is out of control...having to get through everyday is going tougher by the day..Some of you might say there are people have tougher life than me...Ill say I admit im weak...I have gave everything in trying to mend back my life...I sacrifice everything to make this all worked..I am lost....please give me back my map...anyone?please show me the light...anyone?....recently i realise i drive very fast...which I don't know why I just like to speed...even a small "kampung" road I can go until 95km/hour...mayb my sub-concious mind want to end my life..I wouldnt wanna end my life just yet..but it seems to be so hard and time just stop here...what I have to do to get back up...Ill try anything..but so far I couldnt move myself for what i have tried...I dont feel like going back home either...I dont wanna let my parents worry...There are times at night where I totally break down to my tears for seeing myself such a failure..I was not born to be a failure..I wasnt suppose to let down my parents...but all this things are making me head towards of being a failure person in life....This chapter of my life is very sad and yet meaningful..there are times where I learn to be a better man..but as far as I have change in terms of myself..I just couldnt pull it through..I couldnt get myself back....On tuesday a friend of mine message me after the MIS exam...she was very concern of my because I have gone out early throughout my two important main paper..I wasnt like this during my finals a few times ago..she know I am distracted by things going around me...she encourage me....Actually I wanna say something to this friend of mine..."Nicole..I really did tried my best...Im sorry for letting you down..I tried everything to pass the moment of difficulties in my life..but Im still stuck..eventhough I dont know what to write in the paper..but I stil write...I just couldnt get through all this"...I just dont know what to say anymore...I really hope I can get through all this...Im really running out of time...At times I want to run away from reality..but I chose to face it...but facing it doesnt really doing me any good either..I kept telling myself to be strong...As strong I can get...I kept fall back because I only reach halfway...

Im running out of time.............

Now that she's gone

2008-08-28T02:08:00.001+08:00

Girl you know I miss you so

I didn't know you had to go

You've had enough of our distance baby

Before I had the chance to sayI'm staying with you

For the rest of my life

Oh Oh~
Don't keep telling me these words

You don't know how much it hurts

Woo

And I'll promise you eternity

If you promise me your stay

But now it's too late

I'm no longer the man that I was
I will go on without her

Like a fool who's too sure

I'm like a bird who's lost her wing

A fire without its flame

I don't know how to be strong

When my love has to move on

I am a song without a soul

Now that she's gone

What's left of us is this song
Don't keep telling me these words

Oh no

You don't know how much it hurts

Woo

And I'll promise you eternity

If you promise me your stay

But now it's too late

I'm no longer the man that I was Wu~
I will go on without her Wu~

Like a fool who's too sure

I'm like a bird who's lost her wing

A fire without its flame

I don't know how to be strong

When my love has to move on

I am a song without a soul

Now that she's gone

What's left of us is this song

WooOh yeah I know I don't know

Baby I am know I'am a foul
And I will go on without her

Like a fool who's too sure

I'm like a bird who's lost her wing

A fire without its flame

I don't know how to be strong

When my love has to move on

I am a song without a soul

Now that she's gone

What's left of us is this song
This is our song without a soul

Now that you're gone

What's left of us in this song

Januari...mine is "Ogos"

2008-08-28T02:05:00.000+08:00

Kasihku...

Berat bebanku

Meninggalkanmu

Separuh nafas jiwaku.... sirna

Bukan salahmu

Apa dayaku

Mungkin cinta sejati tak berpihak.. pada kita

Sampai disini kisah kita

Jangan tangisi keadaannya

Bukan karena kita berbeda

Dengarkan...

Dengarkan lagu... lagu ini

Melodi rintihan hati ini

Kisah kita

Berakhir di Januari

Its You

2008-08-28T01:59:00.002+08:00

Another night goes by without sleeping

Cause I know I won't wake up next to you

Another life goes by without dreaming

And I can't help but think that mine will too

I'm standing before you

With this label on my head

I'm pleading before you

For you to understand

Baby it's you

When I look up in the sky

I see you

Then I turn and close my eyes and it's you

When I'm sitting all alone in my room

Everything reminds me of you

The time is slow and I am sinking

Into a hole blackened with lies

And though I made it myself

You stand watching as my life passes me by

I'm standing before you

With this label on my head

I'm pleading before you

For you to understand

How much I adore you

I'll be there til the end

When everything falls down

Will you hold my hand?

Baby it's you

When I look up in the sky

I see you

Then I turn and close my eyes and it's you

When I'm sitting all alone in my room

Everything reminds me of you

Baby it's you

When I look up in the sky I see you

Then I turn and close my eyes and it's you

When I'm sitting all alone in my room

Everything reminds me of... you

bukan diriku

2008-08-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

setelah kupahamiku

bukan yang terbaik

yang ada di hatimu

tak dapat kusangsikan

ternyata dirinyalah

yang mengerti kamu

bukanlah diriku

kini maafkanlah aku

bila ku menjadi bisu

kepada dirimu
bukan santunku terbungkam

hanya hatiku berbatas

tuk mengerti kamu

maafkanlah aku

reff:walau kumasih mencintaimu

kuharus meninggalkanmu

kuharus melupakanmu

meski hatiku menyayangimu

nurani membutuhkanmu

kuharus merelakanmu

dan hanyalah dirimu

yang mampu memahamiku

yang dapat mengerti aku
ternyata dirinyalah

yang sanggup menyanjungmu

yang lama menyentuhmu

bukanlah diriku

Kenangan Terindah "from you"

2008-08-26T01:31:00.001+08:00

Aku yang lemah tanpamu

Aku yang rentan karena cinta yang tlah hilang darimu yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka

Sampai jantung

tak berdetak selama itu pun aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku

Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku

Adalah yang terbaik untukmu

Kan kujadikan kau kenangan

Yang terindah dalam hidupku

Namun takkan mudah bagiku

Meninggalkan jejak hidupku

Yang telah terukir abadi

Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Everything But The Girl

2008-08-25T00:51:00.004+08:00

When I saw you

I knew you were the one

I want to orbit you like you're the sun

But let me know before I come undone

Am I the one for you

I'm like a puzzle with a missing piece

I got a car but didn't get the keys

And only you can set my mind at ease

So what am I to do

I have everything but the girl I want, it's sad but true

And everything but the love I need to make it trough

And everythime I look into your eyes, thats when I realize

Just how much I love you

Some say lady luck is on my side

And that my life has been an easy ride

But they don't know how many times I cried

Cause I'm nothing without you

I don't know how lonf I can keep it up

I need a sign to make it trough

You gotta tell me now, you gotta let me know

So what am I, what am I to do

I have everything but the girl I want, it's sad but true

2008-08-21T00:29:00.001+08:00

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left, you kissed my lips

You told me you would never, never forget

These images
No
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mindS

o you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that

Easy to walk right in and outOf my life?

[Chorus]Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should have known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

random post of thinking bout u...

2008-08-10T20:06:00.013+08:00

actually there is nothing much i wanted to say in this post...i was juz thinking about u and i posted this...the very FIRST pic is when i started to know you...a day before you head to redang..since then alot of drama going on between us..at times things will look very blur like in the 4th image...but i stil think your the one...no matter how hard izit...no matter what ppl say...i noe some of u might say im stupid...but i noe shes worth it.

Closed off from love

I didn't need the pain

Once or twice was enough

And it was all in vain

Time starts to pass

Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened

For the very first time with you

My heart melts into the ground

Found something true

And everyone's looking around

Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear

But they talk so loud

Their piercing sounds fill my ears

Try to fill me with doubt

Yet I know that the goal

Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater

Than the rush that comes with your embrace

And in this world of loneliness

I see your face

Yet everyone around me

Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

And it's draining all of me

Oh they find it hard to believe

I'll be wearing these scars

For everyone to see

I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

wondering...

2008-08-01T03:00:00.005+08:00

(the status is as blur as the image.i hope it will be clear soon)

hmm..there is somethin back in my mind i was wondering..it wasnt all the time when my temper is controlling me.infact i always remembered wat u say to be not so hot tempered...well..all i did was i guess a normal reaction every driver will do..even if its kinda big reaction but i was thinking about u..the car was coming from left side and ur on the passenger side..what if he bang onto ur side..what if ur injured?i was just telling him that his wrong..im sorry if i make u upset..i juz duno what i have to do not to make u upset..im not happy as well to see u not feeling good on me..but...i just duno how..i went home feeling down..i kept thinking..was it my wrong?did i do something wrong?i cant answer it..but im ok now..im just wondering...a smile from you is all it have to take to brighten my heart even how down i am...

p/s:kinda miss u now=)

sorry=P...mY biG daY

2008-08-01T01:57:00.011+08:00

wuwu..i juz got scolded by my cousin for not blogging..hehe..i wanted to blog..but no time ma..then tat time haven receive pics=)..so yea...anyway..to start things off...this birthday party wasnt my idea actually..it was MEL and KRIS...so i really wanna say thx alot for doing this for me...if it wasnt..i wouldnt have a happy birthday^.^....yea so on 25th july 028(friday)..i went to coll as usual(my birthday is on 28th july..celebrated it earlier) at 130...skip the earlier lec..hehe=p..it was at 8..cannot wake up lar..XD..so aftertat went for eng class and it ends at 3...head up to nearby hypermarket to buy some stuff accompanied by my classmate(she wants to go back sleep actually but i said ill fetch her back..so she followed.kekeke=p)..went to the first 1..dun have wat i wan...then when i reach the 2nd hypermarket..my phone rang..my cousin and mel already reach my home...OUTSIDE!!!hahha..my cuzzie dun dare go in..wat la.kakakka..so yea..i was taking quite sometime buying things and pity my cousin and mel..they called me up sayinh hungry d.akakka..sorry yea^.^..so i pack mcd for them and went back..that time already 5 something...TIME TO GO FETCH TRICIA!!!thx alot yea cuzzie.ehehe...so yea the party started at 7 something...u guys quite on time yea..i thought will be an hour late..hahaha...hmmm..started wit makan makan...den we play games...cake cutting...FACE INTO CAKE SHOVING!!!and more games..heheh...let the picture tell u the stories=)

melody and me..ehehe..tq..*huggies*

me and sittos..tq for coming..*he do pole dance that day=p*

they are playin twister...hehe..

my turn to play..see all the weird pose..hahha..

huh!!who pinch my cheek..??!!

ITS HER!!!T...for TRICIA!!ahahaha

cake cutting ceremony..ehehhe=p

face shoving session>.<

the end of the nite=)

WAIT WAIT..THERE IS ONE PERSON THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME...TQ SO MUCH=)

i need help...

2008-07-24T23:19:00.002+08:00

hey guys..i find myself trap in time again...i need guidance...i need someone..anyone..help me get me back to the right track...for some period of time..i find myself lost...i couldnt do anything...i juz hope there are something that can spark up my life again..i was never like this...i use to be enjoying my life...but now life seems so difficult for me..life seems so suffocating to me..i juz hope that there is someone who grab my hand when i was about to drown...but it doesnt seems to be happening...i going deeper and deeper into the sea...and with sea there is no one that can see u cry....crying under the sea blends the tears wit water surrounding well..what did i have to do to stop all this continue?is there anyone that can answer me?i hope i can find the answer sooner then ever.There are times where i felt like i wanted to take my heart out and rest...its taking too much on myself..and yet i cant get out of the circle..it is surrounding me all the time..at times you wont feel im unhappy because i hide it deep within me...i do not want to make u all unhappy...but things just cant hold back inside me..i tend to show my emotions because i cannot stand it anymore...i just hope all this can end very soon..i do not want my life to fall apart....

my bLOg is 3 DAYS oLd!!!=p

2008-07-23T00:39:00.003+08:00

hey everyone..i wanna post something..but im kinda super tired..so ill juz say something=)..wil cont 2moro..hehe..anyway eventhought im very tired..i feel happy to do something for you...One thing that is always on my mind is THERE IS NEVER ONE SECOND I WANNA SEE U UNHAPPY..thats why all that i do is worthwhile for you..i hope u like it=)..i juz hope tat when i said those words to u..u wil said it back to me.I juz wish it happens=)..signing off now..TQ for reading

p/s: MISS SHEA LENG AND MISS WAN EE..PLEASE DUN ANGRY WITH ME..LATER NOT LENGLUI D...I TREAT U EACH 1 CUP CAKE OK?GO TAKE FROM XIAN...SORRY..REALLY SORRY..I DUN MEANT IT A=)....."SAI LOU KO EM SEK SAI KAI=P"

of Thinking ahead...

2008-07-21T22:23:00.003+08:00

(contra colours=p)

hey everyone...im back..my blog is 2 days old today=p....yea..juz 2 days...primary reason because i wrote this blog because i felt unhappy...im worried of someone..yea...i really do care of YOU=).its juz going pass my mind every second..im sorry if i make u unhappy...there is nothing more i could have care of other then you...i hope u do understand my feeling and make an effort to it..It really hurts when i think of it..im sorry...

JuSt tO lET u KnoW=)

2008-07-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

HI EVERYONE!!!!

i decide to dedicate this post to 1 special person....hehe..see all the pics me wit a girl?pretty rite?She's my cousin:)...She's 19 this year..and she's SINGLE AND AVAILABLE.So yea...i decide to post about her because she's quite important to me.yea...Kris u din read it wrongly..its IMPORTANT..ehehe..she's always beside me when im down..when i need her...there is always a hand lending me her strength to pull me back up and cont up from where i fall=).I actually duno what to say..but ill say something..heheh...I think she's a pretty nice gal though...erm..u can know her more if u wan..but u let me noe first ya u guys//ehehe...i really got ntg to say..i just want to say tq for all the things she done..You may say its just a lil help but u add them all up and it become a mountain=D..so yea....thx alot..

ONE MORE THINGS, you guys weird la..yea i mean GUY...shes stil single ...there is a nice girl here and she's still single yet u all still bodoh bodoh sitting down..heheh..abit of promotion=p

There you go my 2nd post of the day=)http://kristine-tells-it.blospot.com..there you go her blog=)

A whole new different perspective

2008-07-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

hey everyone..im sure everyone of u will surprise for the presence of my blog..i never thought that i would create a blog...yea...it surprise me either.Actually b4 this i felt that blog is an online diary which is being READ BY PPL ALL AROUND THE WORLD .I dun quite like this idea bcoz it doesn't give me the sense of privacy and whats the point of writing your diary without any privacy?But somehow , lately alot of things happen to and it changes totally what i felt about writing blog.Blog is a way to express yourself regardless of write or wrong.I remember

recently a famous blog creater quote this "YOU HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN WORDS IN YOUR BLOG" This I think is very true and it somehow open up my mind to create my own blog..I don't know if its even related to why im creating my own blog, but yea...it does open up my mind.I came to a point in my life where there is no happiness everyday eventhough you may seem that I am.I came to a point in my life where the end of this never ending journey with full of sadness never exist.I came to the point of my life where living a second day after today felt hard.This is where the most downside of my life I guess.Sometimes I just have to accept the fact that in life somtimes you are alone, you just have to stand up yourself. But nevertheless , there are some nice friends who keep supports me and help me continue on my life.I hope I can find the end to this never ending journey.

Tq for reading my first post..